Transcendence and Making Meaning Out of Loss: Part I

This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Ashley Davis Bush, psychotherapist with over 20 years experience of working with grievers.

We love idea of closure, quick fix, moving on. Not the reality when grieving.
You can have some healing or connection experience but not closure. Integration process needs to occur .
Pain will change. Integration not closure process.
You won't go back to your old self. It is new self that's unfolding. You've changed forever.
New relationship with loved one who passed through memories, spirit and love.
You will move forward and bring your loved one with you. You won't erase them from your heart.
Grievers have potential to be educators. Don't be angry or defensive. Approach others with open heart.
I recognize you don't know but I will tell you my experience. Healthy way for me to remember.
Love is eternal, it doesn't die. Being connected to loved ones lasts forever.
Other cultures more tolerant of emotions. We're stoic and puritanical thanks to our forefathers.
In Western society strength is equated to being reserved and not showing grief in public.
It's ok for me to cry, this is what's healthy. Model it for your kids and friends.
Ask others to share memories of loved one. I love when you mention... It's ok to cry and feel.
Light a memorial candle for your loved one over holidays and tell your kids about it.
Show pictures, normalize grieving experience. Casual sense of loved one of being part of your life.
Share your grief like little pebbles and see what ripple effect is on people who don't express feelings.