Transcendence and Making Meaning Out of Loss: Part II

By Irina Jordan

This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Ashley Davis Bush, psychotherapist with over 20 years experience of working with grievers.

  • Why is it some people get bitter after loss and others grow and make meaning from it - transcend it?
  • Transcending is getting a bit higher to gain perspective on your loss as a piece of your life puzzle.
  • Make a choice of not being bitter after loss, instead grow and make a difference.
  • SOAR: spirituality, outreach, attitude and reinvestment.
  • Make small daily choices: I choose a different path, I will keep loving.
  • Gather all the love you've gathered with your loved one. Spread and share it.
  • Gratitude of not taking life for granted. Don't sweat small stuff. Don't fear death.
  • Heighten your sense of now. Be grateful for every single moment.
  • Shift from fear to urgency. Savor and appreciate life. No single regret for me.
  • Brain ability to change (neuroplasticity), no excuse for not changing.
  • Affirmation: this is how I feel today, I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow.
  • Open possibility of feeling differently later on. This is how I feel now, not forever.
  • Allow for healing process to do its work. Humans are resilient and adapt to change. Let it run its course.
  • Talk to people who are further along in their grief journey. Read about other people's experiences.
  • Nature is a great teacher, always in cycle. Life is teaching us about growth and rebirth.
  • You want to be understood and have a sense of hope.
  • Many people feel connection through spiritual means: synchronicity, nature signs, dreams, visions.
  • Grief is a life long process. You've changed forever. Transcend grief. Love doesn't die.
  • Trust your intuition. It's true for you. You can talk and write to your loved one.