By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the "A Guide to the Grief Journey" online video available at The Grief Toolbox.
- You're flesh frozen when struck with grief. You continue to function but emotions are cut off.
- When grieving, rules change, things don't make sense. Be here, be in this world. Be who you're right now. Be numb.
- When grieving, be prepared for people to say pretty stupid things. They mean well just don't know what to say .
- Grief can come out as different emotions from anger to sadness.
- Anger is often a huge part when grieving, it's a secondary emotion to frustration. Anger can be productive and it paved the way to Amber Alert and MADD.
- Grief doesn't have an end - it's unique and everyone grieves differently.
- Find resources and stay flexible. Be a captain of your grief ship.
- Small things can be overwhelming and set you off when you're grieving.
- People are uncomfortable with your grieving pain, don't get angry, look at their intent and underlying compassion.
- Acknowledge how you really feel when grieving, be honest with yourself.
- Staying busy is just postponing grief.
- Talk to others who experienced grief and take the first step to move forward and honor your loved ones.
- Find an expert in grief and loss for support. A grief therapist can normalize grieving experience.
- Join online grief support communities: Open to Hope and Compassionate Friends.
- Drink water, breath and take walks to take care of yourself when grieving.
- People reach for things (drugs, food, alcohol) that will distract them from their pain when they grieve.
- Conscious and steady nostril breathing reduces panic and anxiety and calms down the mind.
- Simple and easy foods to digest are recommended for those who grieve.
- Believe in something bigger than yourself to help yourself through grieving (doesn't have to be an organized religion).
- We honor loved ones by the way we live our lives. We become their voice. Become an advocate for other grievers.
- Have empathy for others. Don't sweat small stuff. Live your life at a slower pace. Cherish things.
- Grief is like an artichoke - layering of losses. Peel away layers and there's a heart.
- Take care of yourself in any way you can. Find support. Don't isolate yourself. Forget about a watch.
- Don't apologize for having good moments when grieving. Don't feel guilty. Celebrate.
- Take some time every day and do something for you. Be still.
- Whatever you're drawn to, do it – it will help you. Grief is not a linear journey. Don't beat yourself up.
By Irina Jordan