The Grief Toolbox: The Tools You Need for Your Grieving Journey

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By Irina Jordan

This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Glen Lord, creator of The Grief Toolbox.

• Compassionate Friends is a national grief support group for parents and siblings who lost a loved one.
• We are different human beings. Everyone grieves differently.
• When losing a loved one, grief can't be solved easily.
• Big challenge when grieving: it evokes many new intense emotions. Accept them as normal, you're not insane.
• Write a poem or take a picture to express your grieving feeling. It helps others identify with you.
• Incorporate a loved one who passed, in your life in a new way (e.g. a new holiday tradition) and help others recognize it.
• Men are taught not to express emotions: Birdhouse Project, where you can build a birdhouse, helps men grieve.
• Forgive and love each other though a grieving process.
• Hearing from other people what worked for them and sharing your experience gives hope.
• Over holidays, light a candle and speak the name of a loved one.
• Help others by sharing your story. Open your self up. Speak the name of a loved one.
• Let your lost loved one encourage you and feel empowered.
• Don't 'should' on yourself.
• Figure out what works for you and for your spouse when grieving. Be open to new ways and ideas.
• Don't burn out when helping others with grief by having outside interests.
• Recognize joy, hope, love in your life.
• Be compassionate with yourself when grieving. There's no timeline for your grief.
• Open people to grief reality. Younger generation is more comfortable with death and talking about it .
• People don't mean to say wrong things. Recognize it and view those comments from their point of view.
• Share memories about your loved ones and ask others to do the same.
• Reach out to other people and share what you learned on your grief journey. Have courage to do it.
• Do simple acts of kindness.
• Give yourself a gift of remembering your loved ones. Sit down for a moment in a quiet spot and close your eyes: think of a memory of your loved one, add smells and sensations.