We've created this free coloring eBook for those who want to express themselves. Sometimes you are looking for something different to work through your thoughts and feelings. If you're looking beyond, these coloring pages are for you.
]]>We welcome you to download this free zentangle style coloring eBook "Coloring Through Grief" to help you with your grieving and healing process. Each coloring page contains a positive action-driven and emotion-filled affirmation. They are: 1. grieve; 2. heal; 3. relax; 4. hope; 5. love; 6. connect; 7. believe; 8. express; 9. remember. The last page of the coloring page is designed in such a way that you can write your own affirmation and then color it. We'd love to see your completed creations and share them on our Facebook page (with your permission of course). Please send your coloring pages to me at irina@artisurn.com. Now on to coloring - click here to download the coloring book PDF.
]]>This 5 minute video from the Ask A Mortician series is a must watch, especially if you don't have an Advance Directive in place.
]]>My TEDx talk: Let's Talk About Good Death is up on YouTube (after it got approved by TED). The slides from it can be viewed on SlideShare.
]]>Check out this interview I've done for Dance To Death Afterlife Podcast with one and only Brant Huddleston: Art + Urn = Artisurn.
]]>I had a great time speaking at TEDxUofIChicago. The TEDx organizers were top notch. Check out my presentation below while waiting for the talk to become available on YouTube.
Below is our collection of advice and insights from those who have lost a loved one shared by Chelsea Hanson. Find what works for you and what you identify with.
Here 5 steps that will help you plan a meaningful and memorable memorial service:
1. Pick a place to have it. Think of places that you and your friends and family would be comfortable. It doesn't have to be a funeral home.
2. Think of who you’re going to invite. Don't feel obligated to invite everyone.
3. Put together a budget. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Know what you can spend and work with that amount.
4. Decide on food and drink options. It is up to you how simple or elaborate you want the food and drinks to be.
5. Find a celebrant. If you are just having a little gathering with some cocktails and nibbles for 20 people, people still want time to reflect. Have someone put together a eulogy and present it. It’s nice for everyone to have a focal point and some time to reflect. This may only be 10 minutes to honor the person in ceremony, but it creates a focal point.
6. Create a flow of service that is easy for you to manage and comforting to people.
7. Most important: enlist help. You don't have to do all by yourself. Your family and friends are there for you.
]]>By pre-planning a cremation with your loved ones, you are making sure that your wishes are going to be fully and appropriately carried out.
This video is a must see before you talk to your parents about their final wishes.
]]>We want to share this brief help guide with you that explains kinds and sizes of cremation urns to hold ashes to make your selection process easier.
Simple rule to calculate the right size of an urn: every pound of the person's total weight equals one cubic inch of space but even very large people usually fit in a 200 cubic inch urn. So if a person weighed 150 lbs. you will need an urn that is 150 cubic inches or larger.
Companion Cremation Urn can accommodate the cremated remains of two people (e.g. husband and wife). Their size varies from 300 to 500 cubic inches.
Individual Size Cremation Urn is sized to hold the ashes of one person. The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) has created an industry standard of 200 cubic inches, which equals about 6.8 pints. Individual urns vary from 110 to 300 cubic inches.
Sharing Cremation Urn is a smaller sized urn. Sometimes several members of a family wish to retain a portion of the ashes and the ashes are split up into several smaller sized urns. Sharing urns come in a variety of sizes: small (up to 30 cubic inches), medium (up to 50 cubic inches), large (up to 70 cubic inches) and extra-large (up to 100 cubic inches). This urn can be used as a child urn.
Pet Urn comes in a variety of sizes: small (up to 30 cubic inches), medium (up to 50 cubic inches), large (up to 70 cubic inches) and extra-large (up to 100 cubic inches).
Keepsake Cremation Urn is sized to hold only a small portion of cremation ashes up to 15 cubic inches (about one cup of dry weight). When an individual sized urn is used to place the ashes in their final location, keepsake urns are often used to keep a portion of the ashes close to home or given out for scattering. This urn can be used as an infant size urn.
Cremation Jewelry Urn is the smallest size of urns. These urns are really just specially designed jewelry that have an inner chamber to hold a tiny portion of cremation ashes. They are a great alternative to traditional cremation urns.
]]>If you have ever wondered how cremated ashes get identified, this episode of Ask A Mortician is for you.
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The creative process for the artisans behind these unique urns comes from a place of authenticity and relating to everyday people. They look for the simple things that bring joy. The urns are subjects that represent people's passions and interests, reflecting their individuality and honor a life well-lived.
Each of these urns is a work of art produced solely by the team of two artisans. Their hands-on approach produces artisan quality sculptures that will vary slightly from piece to piece. No two will ever be exactly alike creating an heirloom-quality, unique work of art.
With a subject in mind, the artisans strive to create an iconic sculpture by modeling a clay representation. When they are satisfied with their model, they create a plaster mold of it. With a mold they employ a traditional slip-cast method to produce a hollow-bodied clay vessel.
Once the slip sets up in the mold and the clay piece is removed, the unfired clay or “greenware” is shaped, added to and refined as needed. At this stage, the artisans place high-temperature wire hangers into the clay body for wall-mounted pieces and hand cut the vessel’s opening for the inurnment hatch.
Once the greenware sculpting is complete, the piece air dries and is fired in a kiln to temperatures nearing 2000°F. The application of extreme heat to the clay body causes a chemical and physical reaction creating a permanently hardened material. The urns are hand-painted either before or after the kiln fire. A variety glazes or oxide washes are used in combination with acrylic paints, metallic waxes and a sealer to create the finishes of each product. Each urns takes about five days from cast to finish.
]]>When you are grieving, having a comforting and quiet place in your home might be really helpful in processing your grief. Find a nook, corner, secluded spot in your house that makes you feel at peace and helps you relax. There you can create your grieving corner. You can add family pictures, candles, chimes, flowers, scents, comfortable pillows and any other meaningful and relaxing things that can help guide you on your grief journey.
After you create your grieving corner, dedicate 10 to 15 minutes each day to retreat to it and do whatever you find emotionally and physically helpful and soothing. In your grieving corner you can can start your healing by:
Doing a deep meditation practice.
Looking at pictures or keepsakes.
Singing or chanting.
Talking to your loved one.
Writing in a journal.
Openly and loudly expressing your emotions.
Praying.
Listening to music.
Combination of two or more things.
Talking to your loved one is a really soulful way to go to the source of your grieving and share worries and joys of your present life with your loved one being there in spirit and in your heart.
By knowing that each day you have your grieving time really gives you a sense of purpose, especially when your grief is new and raw. Give yourself a permission to be in touch with your inner self and follow your grief clues during your time in the grieving corner.
]]>Given the intense bond most of us share with our animals, it’s natural to feel devastated and overwhelmed by feelings of grief and sadness when a pet dies. While some people may not understand the depth of feeling you had for your pet, you should never feel guilty or ashamed about grieving for an animal friend. Pets are beloved and cherished members of the family and when they die you feel a devastating loss.
Grieving for the loss of a pet may be difficult as the pet loss is not understood by everyone. Friends and family may ask “What’s the big deal? It’s just a pet!” Some people assume that pet loss shouldn’t hurt as much as human loss or that it is somehow inappropriate to grieve for an animal. They may not understand because they don’t have a pet of their own or because they are unable to appreciate the companionship, special bond and love that a pet can provide. Don’t argue with others about whether your grief is appropriate or not.
Like grief for humans, grief for animal companions can only be dealt with over time, but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. Here are some suggestions:
Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.”
Reach out to others who have lost pets. If your own friends, family members, therapist or clergy do not work well with the grief of pet loss, find someone who does. Check out online message boards, pet loss hotlines and pet loss support groups. Seek out others who have lost pets; those who can appreciate the magnitude of your loss and may be able to suggest ways of getting through the grieving process and provide on-going support and advice.
Rituals can help healing. A funeral can help you and your family members openly express your feelings. Ignore people who think it’s inappropriate to hold a funeral for a pet, and do what feels right for you.
Create a legacy. Preparing a memorial, planting a tree in memory of your pet, compiling a photo album or scrapbook and sharing the memories you enjoyed with your pet, can create a legacy to celebrate the life of your animal companion.
Look after yourself. The stress of losing a pet can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time. Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of sleep and exercise regularly to help improve your mood.
If you have other pets, try to maintain your normal routine. Surviving pets can also experience loss when a pet dies or they may become distressed by your grief. Maintaining their daily routines or even increasing exercise and play times will not only benefit the surviving pets but may also help you heal.
If you on a grief journey, this post is for you. First and foremost recognize that you are a unique human being and your grief and coping mechanisms are different. Expected stages of grief, self-diagnoses and societal expectations don’t matter. Everyone has rational, emotional and creative sides that create a variety of personalities and call for different grief tools. There is no cookie cutter approach. Grief can suppress your creativity or make you irrational. Recognize it.
It helps to be sympathetic when others try to comfort you and themselves - everyone copes with grief differently. Learn to give yourself and others a break. You will experience many different emotions that will change constantly when being on your grief journey. It can be overwhelming. Let different emotions flow, don't suppress them. Read other people's experiences, reflections and memoirs to understand your emotions better and identify with others. You can express your feelings through drawings, photography and crafts. Creative tools, art and play therapy can be really helpful.
If your grief doesn't conform to 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), it can be confusing. Get a good overview of different grief theories to identify with one. Different types of losses can impact your grief experience. Search specific tools for your type of loss. Find online and in-person support groups and resources if you want to share with others your experience and understand your grief better.
Have a plan in advance for holidays and anniversaries when grieving. Slow down, be present, look at your life and be grateful for what you have. Find one thing you're grateful for each day and reflect on it. Write in a gratitude journal before going to bed. There is no normal. Embrace what works for you. Don't expect to follow a certain timeline. Find your way to express your grief and connect with others.
Use positive affirmations like “I will open my heart and trust that, in ways I do not now understand, my loved one will continue to be present in my life.”
]]>A memorial service is intended to give meaning to a person’s life. It is a wonderful opportunity for family and friends to gather and remember their loved one while offering support and comfort to one another.
Here are a few suggestions on planning a memorable memorial service.
Pick a place to have it. Think of places that you and your friends and family would be comfortable. It doesn't have to be a funeral home.
Think of who you’re going to invite. Don't feel obligated to invite everyone.
Put together a budget. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Know what you can spend and work with that amount.
Decide on food and drink options. It is up to you how simple or elaborate you want the food and drinks to be.
Find a celebrant. If you are just having a little gathering with some cocktails and appetizers for 20 people, people still want time to reflect. Have someone put together a eulogy and present it. It’s nice for everyone to have a focal point and some time to reflect. This may only be 10 minutes to honor the person in ceremony, but it creates a focal point.
Create a flow of service that is easy for you to manage and comforting to people.
Most important: enlist help. You don't have to do all by yourself. Your family and friends are there for you.
Here are are few ideas to celebrate the life of your loved one:
Ask family and friends to bring their favorite photo to the memorial service and they could pin the photo onto the line. Have labels so people could fill in their name, address and e-mail address and place the label on the back of the photo. After the service, you can scan all the photos and create an online album to share with everyone who will find comfort and joy in seeing them.
Attach a photo from each year of your loved one's life to a balloon. After the service, friends and family can release the balloon.
Set up a memory table: display important items from your loved one's life. It makes a great place for guests to gather around and reminiscence. Have someone by the table to jot down all the sharing of memories. Then transcribe it and share with the memorial service guests, family and friends.
With the New Year quickly approaching, people are planning out their resolutions. They want to exercise more, lose weight, eat healthy, get regular checkups and get organized. The New Year brings on a different range of emotions for those who are grieving. The thought of getting through all the yearly milestones and special events that you used to share with your loved one gets overwhelming and outright scary. Even if you are scared and long for the past, you can still open the door a crack to the New Year.
As the ball gets close to dropping in Times Square this year, here are 7 quick ideas that might work for you if you have lost your loved one or beloved pet so you can meet the New Year with optimism and hope.
Be gentle with yourself and others.
Make time for your yourself and your grief.
Allow joy and be grateful for things in your life.
Resolve not to feel guilty.
Take care of your health.
Learn to make meaning of your new life: one day at a time.
Find courage to live into the future, into the New Year by living in the present, doing the best you can to care for yourself and others today.
Grieving is a very personal process. Figuring out what works for you will take some time. If one resolution doesn’t work, keep looking for what makes the process a little easier. As time goes on, the grief does not go away. It ebbs and flows - embrace the flow. You can learn how to live with the loss by learning how to understand and be at peace with our feelings. Your loved one will always remain in your heart surrounded by love.
We wish you a Happy and Healthy New Year!
]]>Instead of bringing warmth, love and excitement, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of missing your loved one or beloved pet by your side. There are some things you can do to help ease your grief. We would like to share 7 tips with you for getting through the holidays.
We wish you a peaceful and healing holiday season!
]]>“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” ~ Napoleon Hill, American author
This holiday season use your grief experience to go on a self discovery journey to find your life purpose and re-discover joy.
You have the power to rewire your brain to think positively. You can use this positive affirmation “I have all the time to heal. I am loved and safe.” Say it to yourself over and over again until it becomes ingrained in your mind on a subconscious level. I recommend having sticky notes with affirmative messages throughout your house and in your office to make the best of each day. If you start having negative and destructive thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper, rip them or burn them. By doing so, you will release them and tune in to your mind's love and acceptance channel.
If you are feeling especially vulnerable, put yourself in a happy bubble and don't let anyone to burst your bubble, which is your positive energy. Recognize a spiral of negative thinking and stop it in its tracks. Being a victim is easy as there is no responsibility. Happiness is a habit, not a decision. Just like fitness, you have to work on it. Find a beautiful journal and write what you are grateful for each and every day.
Meditation is a wonderful way to reconnect with your inner self and find wisdom and solace. Conscious and steady nostril breathing reduces panic and anxiety and calms down the mind. Give yourself a gift of remembering your loved ones. When meditating, close your eyes and think of a memory of your loved one. Add smells and sensations to your memory to make it come to life. Feel love and gratitude for what you have in your life and let grief flow freely without drowning you in it.
Don't rely on others to make you feel loved and safe. You are a master of your own domain and you are strong enough to have a vibrant and fulfilling life. Your energy field is felt by other people. Don't be a victim. Move beyond it. Healing is essential. To start your transformation, write down an opposite of your current story. Start making small changes.
A bigger picture is calling you. What are you meant to create and leave behind? This is a perfect time to start working on your legacy. Move from 'why' to 'what'. What am I meant to learn from this? Do something meaningful in your own life. Make a list of your loved one's values and follow them to honor their legacy. We honor loved ones by the way we live our lives. We become their voice.
Re-discover yourself, have courage to do new things, start enjoying life again. Take care of yourself by resting well, hydrating, taking walks and eating well so you are able to move forward. You are still connected with your loved one through your flowing love. When you move to an empowered place, it will help you find meaning and purpose. You can thrive and live a fulfilling life after loss.
]]>
Jeff Jorgenson runs a green/alternative funeral home, Elemental Cremation and Burial. In this post he asks, “why is it so hard for funeral directors to trust their families?”
I had a woman come in for her mother’s cremation. She was the only person to show up. No one else was comfortable doing a visitation or witnessing her cremation. Our witness package includes a one hour visitation. She took 20 full minutes just setting up the crystals, sage smudge, river water, music, and Tibetan singing bowls. She spent a great deal of time cleansing her mother’s spirit, the space and her own grief in, what was to me, a very curious manner. One of my peers said, “Wow, that’s pretty over the top, what the hell was wrong with her?” Though this is not usually my style, I lashed out at him. I said “YOU KNOW WHAT?! At least she’s doing something. I wish that more of the families would take this kind of interest; what she’s doing may be odd, but she’s taking on her mom’s care, which is more than we can say about most families!” Taken aback, he thought about it for a second and said: “You know what? You’re absolutely right.”
As of now, the funeral industry does a horrible job at collaborating with families. Most people in the industry believe that if we give consumers the power to collaborate and join us as equals, somehow there’s no value in the services provided by directors. Or worse, no profit to be made. Low cost providers don’t want to take the time to walk a family through the funeral process because it could reduce their overall volume of business. And the majority of directors believe consumers are either too stupid or too squeamish (or both) to run a funeral on their own.
I know that this will be a shocking reality to hear – there are VERY FEW families that want, or have the capacity, to transport and care for their dead on their own. People don’t want to haul grandma to the crematory in their Honda. I also don’t know of anyone that has a personal cooler capable of storing a body, nor the cremation equipment. Regardless of the popularity of the home funeral movement, funeral directors aren’t in danger. Home funerals are definitely possible (and are encouraged!) but many people find it too difficult or too foreign relative to their traditions. People want to find things that they can do, where they won’t be told “no.”
I’ll say right now that I don’t have a secret sauce to make the consumer happy in all cases. The biggest way to fight back with the industry is to plan your own death (which doesn’t mean you need to pre-pay). Here’s my promise to you, North American Consumer: the funeral industry will listen to all of your needs when you start talking with your family to make a plan for death. Because when you do that, you can go into the funeral home while everyone is still alive and do it on YOUR terms, not theirs. There’s a lot of grey area that you get to dance in (and write down in proper legal documentation) when you aren’t bent over a barrel in the darkness of grief.
You have the ability to research the funeral homes around you and find one that wants to collaborate with you and walk the path alongside you, not leading you by the nose. We can change the way that this society cares for it’s dead, and it starts with your family and your dialogue.
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The death of someone we love changes our lives forever. The first thing to do when your loved one dies is to take time to sit with your loved one and let yourself process what happened.
Get in touch with your family members and friends and ask them to join you in spending some time with your loved one before making any funeral arrangements.
Find your loved one's final wishes in the form of a will or funeral planning checklist. If you can't find them or there are none to be followed, make the best judgment call and don't feel rushed into calling a funeral home. Take time to discuss funeral arrangements with family members and friends. It can be a green burial, home funeral, cremation or anything else that resonates with you and will celebrate the life of your loved one.
]]>By Irina Jordan
With Caitlin's permission, I am sharing my favorite questions and answers that transpired during Reddit Ask Me Anything (AMA) with her. Caitlin Doughty is Founder of the Order of the Good Death and New York Times bestselling author of “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory”.
You, the reader, deserve to know what the good death is all about and how you can get ready for it.
Q: How do you deal with death-deniers that question your work? Do you have a phrase or sentence that you say that puts them at ease and makes you feel successful in the interaction?
A: People don't realize that a big part of the job is eating crow for things that aren't their fault. Sure, there are logistical things I slip up on and am happy to admit when I'm at fault. But you never know when a family is going to freak out because of a small thing, like a death certificate being delivered a day late or a flower out of place. I try to remember that that anger is coming from a place of extreme hurt or guilt about the death. It's not about me. It's about their own relationship to death or the person who has died. It took me a long time to learn that.
Q: What is your suggestion for how to stay strong in these views in times when a close loved one dies (assuming they didn't have opposing views) and you have pressure from family/funeral directors/healthcare workers/etc. to go the "socially traditional" route?
A: The best thing is to remember is that DEATH IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. The biggest threat to alternative options and ceremonies is that people feel pressured to do something with the dead now now now. You have time to make a decision, time to weigh your options. The person is dead now and they'll be dead 2 days from now. Take your time and don't give in to pressure.
Q: Why do you think Americans are so fixated with the "looks" of things, while other countries do just a little more than planting people naked under a turnip crop?
A: I think that Americans have a cult of optimism that fits well with the body preservation and makeup. The idea that we shouldn't see decomposition or death because it poses a threat to our sense of self.
Q: Are there any old/obsolete burial customs/general death rituals you wish were still a thing?
A: The Roman custom of putting sweet smelling herbs on the pyre and washing the bones in milk. And just open air pyres in general (they are a thing, just not in the West).
Q: Have you ever had someone wake up on you?
A: Nope. When you work with the dead for awhile you see that time after time, the DEAD ARE SO DEAD. They are beautiful shells of former people, but they're checked out. Things that happen: weird noises, movements, etc., can be explained by biology.
Q: Did you watch Six Feet Under and see the bits about natural burial within? (And love it?)
A: Totally watched Six Feet Under. People expect me to be an elitist about it but I think it was really well done. A colleague of mine was one of the mortician consultants on the show so they took getting the death stuff right pretty seriously.
Q: Is there a database that you're aware of that's cataloged natural burial grounds and eco-friendly or alternative funeral homes?
A: There is an amazing database for natural burial grounds/providers called the Green Burial Council. Disclaimer: This is for the US and they have some pretty high standards to be included.
By Irina Jordan
How do I calculate the right size of an urn I need?
Just like people and pets, urns come in many different shapes and sizes. The general rule of thumb is for every pound of the person's total weight you will need one cubic inch of space. So if a person weighed 150 lbs. you will need an urn that is 150 cubic inches or larger.
This rule works well for the ashes from the fire-based cremation where ashes are usually different shades of gray and gritty in texture. Ashes from the alkaline hydrolysis (hydro cremation) have 20% more volume and have a clean, uniform and white appearance.
Use this cremation urn size calculator to help you find the right size cremation urn. Enter the weight of your loved one or beloved pet and then "Calculate." If you have ashes from the hydro cremation, please check the "Hydro Cremation Ashes" box to get correct numbers.
Loved One's or Pet's Weight in Pounds | |
Cups of Ashes (1 Cup = 8 Fluid Ounces)
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Minimum Urn Size Needed in Cubic Inches | |
Hydro Cremation Ashes:
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1 Pound = 1 Cubic Inch
1 Cup = 14.44 Cubic Inches
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By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the "Sorry for your Loss: What People Who Are Grieving Wish You Knew" book by Alicia King.
1. Listen. Then Listen Some More
Deep listening replaces the fear of “don’t know what to say” syndrome. We can “just listen” until something comes to us from our inner source of wisdom. Just be present. Be a witness. Be the calm in the storm. Be willing to laugh when they need to laugh. Be willing to allow tears when they need to cry. Open your heart to the experience in spite of the possible pain. By supporting the bereaved in these ways, we create sacred space for them to heal in their own way and in their own time.
2. Give Them a Choice
Don’t offer the grieved open ended, generalized favors with questions such as, “What do you need?” Be specific and given them a choice by stating something like this, “Would you rather I bring dinner tonight or tomorrow?’
3. It’s Not About You
When you approach someone who is grieving, remember Rule number 1. You are there to listen. Don’t burden the griever with drawn-out accounts of your own losses. In fact, don’t go into it at all. Mention it and drop it. Remember your objective. You’re there to listen to them, not the other way around.
4. Humor Can Be Healing
Humor can be the glue that holds survivors together. So go ahead. Laugh!
5. Don’t Impose Your Expectation on Their Grief
Let the bereaved grieve their own way, in their own time.
One-upmanship. It’s not just for class reunions. They may be trying to ease your pain, but it only comes off as some morbid competition that no one will win.
7. Grief is Powerful and Unpredictable
Grief isn’t linear. Expect the unexpected, and remind the griever that this is normal.
8. It’s Okay to be Happy Again
Help them move forward. Reassure them as they find happiness in their new normal.
9. Be Open to Grief’s Lessons and Blessings
“Death takes away. That’s all there is to it. But grief gives back. By experiencing it, we are not simply eroded by pain. Rather, we become larger human beings, more compassionate, more award, more able to help others, more able to help ourselves.
10. It’s Not Over: They Still Need You
Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. Don’t expect them to be “cured.” Continue your support.
]]>By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Michael Mapes, intuitive business coach about the power of intuition to transform grief into healing.
Guest Blog Post by Cassandra Yonder, a home funeral guide of Beyond Yonder Death Midwifery.
In general, a home funeral is family or community centered home-based post deathcare. Home funeral guides, educators and advocates seek to empower communities to reclaim deathcare, which doesn't necessarily entail doing everything ourselves but rather embracing the idea that we are at the center of our own experience. Bringing death back home may refer in a literal sense to hands-on body care at the dwelling place of the person who died, or it may simply refer to families realizing that they have the legal right as well as the cultural privilege to be in control of the care loved ones receive when they have died and to procure only those services that feel right within their unique communities.
Many families don't realize that they have the choice to seek assistance from others: soul midwives who take part in active dying; craftspeople who make caskets, shrouds or urns, independent transport companies who move human remains; ceremonialists who conduct private services and memorialists who help us to remember our dead in a meaningful way. Home funeral guides help families to coordinate the services they need and teach them how to provide the care they are willing to undertake on their own.
Home funerals happen when families understand their choices and when community members are willing to be present and take on aspects of care as they are able to. It is the opposite of calling a funeral home at the time of death with the assumption that they will handle everything. It involves becoming familiar with the post deathcare wishes of the deceased. In other words, home funerals require cooperation and participation. It is this very visceral involvement and cooperative problem solving that helps to make meaning of the death, which has occurred, and in which the potential therapeutic benefits of home funerals can be found.
Many families choose to have home funerals for the potential psychological, emotional and social benefits, and perhaps because they feel that providing such care for their loved ones is too personal or sacred to be handled by strangers. Others choose home funerals because they tend to be less expensive and more environmentally sensitive than professional funeral services. Whatever the reasons, some families elect to take on some aspects of caring for their own dead. Regardless of how much or how little care families may be prepared to provide, the willingness to engage and direct the process is what makes a home funeral.
Photo credit: Luminous Blue
]]>By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Ashley Davis Bush, psychotherapist with over 20 years experience of working with grievers.
By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Ashley Davis Bush, psychotherapist with over 20 years experience of working with grievers.
By Irina Jordan
This post shares the highlights of the talk given by Tina Games, certified creativity and life purpose coach about embracing the legacy of your loved one through journal writing.
Identify your personal thread in your life. Keep your internal 'light' on when making life decisions.
Get clear on your own journey and what your purpose is. Which choices take you closest to your 'light'?
Guard your own inner light before worrying about others.
Healing journal helps you work through your grief process.
Pick a beautiful journal that you love looking at and holding and reminds you of your loved one.
Write a beautiful dedication on first page of your journal about legacy of your loved one.
Your grieving journey is very personal. Any way you need to grieve is fine. Journal about what you feel.
Write your questions about your loved one's passing in your healing journal, which is your confidant and safe place.
Don't sensor yourself when journaling.
Look for synchronicities when out and about and write them down in your healing journal to see patterns.
We're all on different journeys. Depending where you are, you process your grief differently.
Document in your journal all rich conversations you have with people about your loved ones. Record their memories.
Look for a common thread after you journal for a while. What is your vibration?.
Think of words to describe your gifts you received from your loved ones - their life purpose and legacy.
Gratitude healing journal is about embracing legacy and gifts and being grateful for the life well lived.
Breath in light of your loved one, allow light travel through your entire being, feel warmth from light, like a blanket.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”~ Wayne Dyer.
When feeling low, go to your gratitude journal and read. It will bring you back into light.
What we put out, that's what we'll get back - law of attraction.
Create a sacred space for journaling. Set intention and use guided imagery from time to time.
Love does live on every single day in people's legacy - ripple effect. Be mindful of that.